We’ve learned all kinds of life lessons from watching the premiere of The Secret Circle — for example: Guns don’t kill people; magic crystals kill people.

Soak up some valuable words of wisdom with 20 things we’ve learned from Season 1, Episode 2!

1. Heavy breathing definitely counts as cheating on your girlfriend.

2. It’s perfectly normal for grown men to carry about pet rocks.

3. If you start developing symptoms of a heart attack, look around for a pretty blond.

4. Witches love to doodle in their Books of Shadows.

5. Saying “give me light” probably won’t light a candle as well as a book of matches.

6. Herbal remedies are the new pot.

7. Most teenagers have a six pack.

9. It’s true: Everyone in the Pacific Northwest is still obsessed with flannel.

10. If you find a dead body, grab the prettiest rock in sight and rub it all over her. Works like a charm.

11. Small towns often have giant street parties where everyone gets high and bump n’ grind.

12. Witches shouldn’t be allowed in biology class.

13. When witches are around, glass will shatter.

14. Light bulbs are sexy.

15. Why steal from your parents liquor cabinet when you can have more fun stealing from their spice rack?

16. If you’re being bullied by one of the cast members of Queer As Folk, call on an old man for help.

17. If someone tells you that you’re on a collision course with destiny, assume they are drunk.

18. If you sit on a bench alone, there’s a 10 to 1 chance a cute boy will sit down next to you.

19. It’s always a good idea to pound a few glasses of vino before murdering your father-in-law.

20. If you stumble across a group of teens listening to moody music around a bon fire, GTFO. They might accidentally sacrifice you.

From: http://www.wetpaint.com/the-secret-circle/articles/20-things-we-learned-from-the-secret-circle-season-1-episode-2-bound

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